Taken ahold

Were it so easy,

that I lay down my head and sleep,

Dreaming of that which may never come.

Of things long gone,

or never have been.

I wander day to day

cherishing. Not a drop of regret.

Not a tear of relief.

Faces of people I once knew,

Feelings I could never have,

they manifest themselves, as

Apparitions.

I reach out and touch them,

and begin what has already been forgotten.

A great sorrow was planted,

and its seeds I cultivate.

The best nutrient is time

for a soiled memory, lest it grow

thorns and gnarled.

At night it will blossom

but for a fleeting moment.

A sweet nectar will flow

and privileged are those who drink it.

I have tasted the sweat of my labor.

It is by far sweeter

than all of my waking days.

Yet tinged with a bitterness I cannot describe.

Every now and then I am seized by an urge to compose. I am obviously no poet.

It would be simpler to just write and not compose, but through this medium, I am somehow able to channel my feelings directly. What you read is garbled, erratic, and unsophisticated, but at the same time, the purest form of thought and emotion I can bring to bear. It is an outpouring of my current state of mind, to which even I cannot explain. I only try to capture it in the moment. What you interpret is up to you - it is simply a window that you may peer inside. Perhaps you will walk away seeing something you had not seen before.

More likely, you will walk away with nothing, confused.

I would like to end my post here, but will supplement with a little more - if only to provide some context. Lately I have been dreaming again. I do not associate my dreams with anything physical (e.g. subconscious desires), but I often develop very strong emotional responses. Sometimes they linger for days. They interfere with my day to day life, but I cannot say with any certainty that it is constructive or destructive.