Addendum

So I have been gaining weight, to nobody's surprise. I cannot say I am happy about it, and the realization is that I weight almost as much as my brother now. The noticeable height difference allows me to get away with it, but only for so long.

For reference, I weigh approximately 210lbs. Why am I disclosing my weight? Well, I was never one to really hide it (if you pressed me enough). At the end of winter break my sophomore year of high school, I weighed 218lbs. Granted, I have gained significant height since then, but it is still a disturbing thought.

I was a fat ass when I was young, and for a brief period between junior year and senior year of high school, I was actually pleased with my weight. Now I am a fat ass again.

Some people tell me I hide my weight relatively well. Everyone is surprised to know I weigh so much. My own martial arts master underestimated my weight when performing a takedown; I believe he hurt himself. But now that Jennifer S. herself, who has always disregarded my insistence that I was fat, has pointedly decided that I was "chubby," it is official.

As a sophomore, after returning from Winter Break, I decided that 218lbs. was it. That I would not, absolutely not, gain any more weight. I made good on that promise, but the way I went about it was to basically starve myself. And I did. I starved myself all through sophomore year, coming down to 200lbs. by the end of the school year.

I was pleased. There is a noticeable difference when you lose 20lbs. Over the summer and well into junior year, I remained at 200lbs., but I had wanted to lose more. I joined badminton that year, and I worked my ass off. I was sensitive about my image; I still imagined everyone thought of me as a fat ass so I worked hard to prove that I was not. I stayed late every practice and did all the exercises to their fullest. To that end, at my lowest, I was 178lbs.

Quite an achievement, I thought. To go from 218lbs. to 178lbs. - literally 40lbs. Because I played badminton so much, I was able to keep my weight consistant.

But now I do not do much more than eat, sleep, and study. I have slowly went up from 185lbs. the summer after I graduated, to 210lbs. 25lbs more over roughly two years. I am slowly returning back to my previous weight, and I am concerned.

With Mr. Johns's transformation, he has inspired me to lose some weight of my own again. Although I am not sure how to go about it, I will try to stablize my weight and perhaps even begin losing it starting next quarter. I always make these promises to myself, but I feel like I am, again, reaching that saturation point. I cannot gain any more weight!

Coincidentally, Mr. Johns told me the other day that I had inspired him to lose 80lbs. How utterly ironic.