Idolization

A recent conversation with my friend touched upon the idea of idolization. They found the idea of idolizing Korean pop stars as disgusting, revolting, and just plain stupid. I nodded in agreement, though it never occurred to any of us why people do it.

Why DO people idolize anyone? I personally found it unhealthy, because there is a difference between respect, having a role model, versus adoration and idolization; one is constructive and the other is obsessive. Is it possible to both respect someone or some group as a role model AND adore them for what they do? Perhaps. I do not think these things mutually exclusive, but I think any sort of idolization may be indicative of an unhealthy mind.

Take for example, my friend. He is strong-willed, content, intelligent, accomplished, and has a very bright future ahead of him. I have no doubt that he will aspire to whatever his dreams are. He is confident in himself and his abilities, even though he is not in a prestigious school. He tells me that opportunities are everywhere and I agree an ambitious person in a poor school may very well be more successful than an apathetic person in a prestigious school. Certainly there is some advantage to studying at a prestigious school, but he does not consider that a setback.

Another friend I have is studying at what I consider a prestigious school. They have high academic ability, lots of extracurriculars to complement their grades, and is more or less set to become successful. Intelligent, ambitious, and also very accomplished. However, they are also unsure what direction to take, unconfident in their work, and in general what I consider weak-willed.

That particular friend, coincidentally, also adores Korean pop stars.

Is it truly coincidental? After some discussion, I hypothesized that self-esteem may be the driving factor in idolizing others. Looking at myself, I feel confident in where my life is headed and have already considered myself successful in what I do. I must admit there have been days where I feel utterly alone (which have occurred more frequently lately), or where I feel completely inept, but they are typically far and few in between.

I do not adore Korean pop stars or anyone. I have never showed more than a fleeting interest in those who have achieved so-called "greatness." It is not due to lack of respect, but it simply generates a shrug response from me. There are always going to be great people, and good people, and bad people. While it is great that some 13-year old has discovered the fibonacci sequence in trees and used it to improve solar panel efficiency (though I doubt his claim), it has no bearing on me that someone so young can accomplish this. I have my own ideas for my future, and whether or not they contribute to society in the long run is irrelevant. The question is, can I do what I want to?

There is an interesting quote at my school, that goes something like this: It is an interesting experience, this dual-vision, constantly seeing yourself through the eyes of others. I interpret this quote as calling up the fact that so often we live our lives by how others think of us. Damn what other people think of you! What do people know about you? How can they judge you like they judge a movie or a game. Movies and games remain static, at their core, unchanged. As a human, you constantly change, even day to day.

That is not to say you should ignore what other people have to say, and live in your own fantasy world. There must always be balance in everything you do. Do not live your life through the eyes of others, but do not live your life in isolation. Use their feedback to improve your evaluation of yourself, not define it.

I feel that those who do the latter succumb to acts of idolization and adoration. If there is any one thing in this world that we should do, it is understanding ourselves. Our limitations, our strengths, and our style. So many people have gaps in their understanding that they fill it with the first they can find. They are unconfident, unsure, and unable to believe that they are equals as human beings. A person should never have to believe they are lesser than anyone else -- at the core we are all humans. Until someone starts sprouting wings and a halo, we will continue to be human and continue to be equal. Respect others for their skills and abilities, but do not idolize them. To idolize someone means to put yourself beneath them.