I read my previous post. Sorry for all the typos. I kind of just finished and hit submit. I promise I'll edit this one.
I live in an apartment about 10 mins (walking distance) from where I work. It's really convenient and my mom was really lucky to have found it for me. In general, I think I'm a pretty lucky guy. I got into UCSD despite having piss-poor grades and academic acheivement, I got a sometimes clingy (but we're working on giving me space) but really caring and loving girlfriend. And I got an internship my first year of college. I don't know if most of you know, but it's nigh impossible for a first year to get an internship. Or second, even. Most are third years before they even begin any internships. And to top it all off, I work at a Department of Defense (DoD) contracted company, so there's a lot of prestige attatched to it. Not much work experience here, in my opinion, but it definitely looks good on paper. And that's all that matters.
The application for this internship actually asked me to submit two letters of recommendations. I only submitted one, which was my MATH20D teacher who I ended up bugging a week prior to write one for me. But he was definitely a nice guy, and I'm really lucky (there it is again) to have him. On a side note, during one of my cram sessions where I had like 2 hours of sleep, I happened across a flyer for an Integration bee scheduled to go in an hour. It's like a race. Of integrating. After tossing and turning over it (because my girlfriend was with me and neither of us had gotten much sleep), she let me go do it because she loves me so god damn much. I felt bad about making her stay up just to watch me fail at the Integration bee, but I was happy that I took it. In the lower division group, I managed to pull runner-up out of 8 or 10 people. I got a 15 dollar giftcard to the UCSD bookstore that is still in my wallet. I don't know what to do with it, but I was pleasantly surprised. We stayed to watch the upper division and graduate level competition (they had far fewer participants) and it was awesome. At least to me. My girlfriend seemed to enjoy it but we were both so sleep deprived I couldn't tell.
I always liked math. Math is my thing. I forget how to do specific problems pretty easily, but I always understand the concepts. Or tried to. Differential equations (MATH20D) was pretty difficult conceptually; I ended up with a B+ because I tried to understand and ended up not reading the last chapter. Which was what the final was on. (insert FML).
By the way, thanks to Wing for getting me hooked on FML. I love that website. I should read it when I'm done with these posts. Wing is my friend who is also an electrical engineer (we refer to it as ECE at UCSD). She was also my partner for Intro to Circuits (ECE25), whom, without, I probably would have never figured out that the power supply was off half the time and that's why our circuit wasn't running (the other half of the time I was pointing it out to her).
In any case, linear algebra (MATH20F) was very concept heavy, and I pulled out with a STELLAR (lol) A. A lot of people hated that class; probably because they couldn't trudge through the problems like they used to. Again, I'm reminded of how intellectually disappointing UCSD is.
Let's go over my winter quarter classes:
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Winter '09
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Intro to Circuits (ECE25)
Linear Algebra (MATH20F)
Physics-Mechanics (PHYS2A)
Chamber Singers (MUS95K)
For those of you who are wondering what the hell I am doing learning linear algebra, and why I didn't take that in, like, kindergarten, I'll explain. Linear algebra is about vectors (commonly written in matrices which is probably why you've been told it's about matrices). It's about these vectors, in specific vector spaces (like 2 or 3-dimensions), and transformation of one space to another (like 2 TO 3). This sounds like geometry, I admit (there's certainly a lot of pictures), but it is really different. A lot of it is very conceptual, because as soon as you move out of analogies of 2 or 3-dimensions, it is nothing like what you've been doing. Certainly if you have knowledge of matrix operations (which I know a lot of you do because you came from my high school), then you would be fine on the MATH side of it. The CONCEPTUAL side comes in when you talk about vector spaces that are NOT physical dimensions. For example, think about a plane that only draws DIAGONAL LINES. Oh man. What about straight ones? NO. ONLY DIAGONALS. So you might be asked if a certain vector is possible to exist inside that vector space. Obviously a straight one does not exist in a diagonal-only vector space. But then you start throwing in MORE dimensions than is physical possible (I don't know, like 4), and you start going random on me by saying "Okay, this vector space is defined with these four vectors. They create a vector space. Is THIS vector in it?" I DON'T KNOW. But, with linear algebra, you can find out.
It's all very complicated. This is probably why people hate it. There's a lot of application for linear algebra that you'll just have to find out for yourself one day. Or not. In that case you don't have to worry.
For this quarter I had 20 (13.3 for semester) units. This is because my DOC class levelled up and was worth 6 units now instead of 4 (since we met for discussion twice a week). A typical 4-unit class meets three times a week for lecture at 50 minutes, or twice a week for 1 hour and 20 minutes, in addition to one discussion section for 50 mins. Now, DOC discussion sections are mandatory so they make up for it by giving us more units. Great. Thanks UCSD.
Strangely enough I had a lot of time and wasn't pressured at all that quarter. This is because, despite my amount of units, my classes were all relatively easy. Except PHYS2A, which I now know I suck at. Man I suck at all kinds of physics. And I never knew. High school physics just doesn't compare. At all. Even AP Physics B. I really hope they have AP Physics C now at IHS.
But I'm not a Mechanical/Aerospace Engineer so I don't care too much. I managed to pull off an A in Physics-Electromagnetism, though. I think I really deserved that one (even if my A was only 0.58% above the cutoff for A-). I tried really hard, I went to the problem sessions and I did (mostly) all of the homework. I was pleased, but I ended up getting an A- in DOC and a B in Java programming. I'm not being Asian. It's ridiculous to try and get a job without a decent GPA (read: around 3.5) and some experience. My GPA right now is a little above 3.5, so I'm just hoping I can maintain it.
I envy the people that can waste their time learning music or art. They have the money to waste their life like that. My girlfriend and I were talking about letting our kids do whatever they want. But I thought about it and we decided that, whatever they want falls within reason. As much as I'd like to throw thousands out the window so my kid can become a great artist, he or she needs to get a grip on reality first. Without a decent job, even if I can support them, they're going to fail in life. I won't pamper my kids, if I ever make a decent living. I'm sure I'll look back on this one day and laugh, but that's my resolve for now. Even though my parents told me I could do whatever I want after I graduated with a degree, I know it's not true. I know it won't be true for my kids either, but hopefully they won't have to work for the rest of their lives to take care of their kids. Maybe they can actually learn whatever they want after a few years of working. Build up a little experience.
I always wanted to do a million things all at once. I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to learn how to paint. I wanted to learn how to make music. To learn Mandarin. Japanese. Korean. Cantonese (now). Vietnamese (mine is crap). German. French. All sorts of languages. I wanted to make games. To play badminton. Fencing. Aikido.
Melissa tells me I can still do some of these things. A little part of me thinks so too, but I know it's the dreamer. Between the two of us, I'd have to say I'm more pragmatic. She also likes to say we both have the same capacity for success (or rather, I have enough of it, though not necessarily on the same level as hers...) and that if I just stopped moping around and changed myself, I could do some or most of these things. But I dream, too. I dream about writing epic stories, drawing manga, making video games. Being good at badminton, or fencing. No matter what, I can't seem to motivate myself. I'm too content to just stay where I am. To just do what I've always been doing. I'm not much of a person for change, I guess.
I wonder sometimes just how much of her dreams she had accomplished? She is certainly a talented artist, and a good pianist (even if she has that habit of stopping to fix errors while performing that I find so annoying, similar to my girlfriend). Her knowledge of music theory is pretty sound; I always go to her when I write something I'm particularly proud of just so she can rip it apart for me. That has been happening less of late, though. She is certainly the successful one, and I'm sure she'd have me believe it's through her own efforts.
I'd like to believe I've gotten to where I am the same way, but it seems I'm just another lucky guy. I don't ever get what I want but I get enough. Luck is life's way of making it up to you for screwing you over.
Speaking of screwing one's self over, let's talk about my epic-fail third quarter:
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Spring '09
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DOC3
Physics-Electromagnetism (PHYS2B)
Java Programming (CSE11)
Mandarin (CHIN13A)
Cantonese (LIDS19)
Chamber Singers (MUS95K)
Intro to Computer Engineering (ECE30; dropped)
To start off, this intial line-up was 27 (18) units. You are restricted to a maximum of 22 units before you are required to fill out a unit overload form. After I dropped ECE30 it was only 23 (15.3) units.
I was supposed to take ECE35 (Intro to Analog Design) but it conflicted with my PHYS2B lecture which was a corequisite (meaning I had to take it at, at least, the same time, if not prior). After a few e-mails back and forth, they basically said there was nothing they could do about it and told me to take ECE30 instead (which I was not to take until the end of my sophomore year). For good reason. I dropped that class after I got a 6/22 on the first major quiz. And it's not like I was beating/ahead/anywhere near the curve. I was getting owned pretty bad. After I dropped they sent me an e-mail telling me they fixed up the scores and apologized for grading too hard. I got a 9. I decided 3 points wasn't enough to make me want to go back to class and so I left it like it was.
Cantonese was a 2 unit course my girlfriend roped me into taking with her. She is Chinese and speaks Taishan/Taaisaan/Toisaan/Hoisaan. No, they are not four different dialects of Chinese, it is just the many different ways to say it. I personally like to go for Taishan because I started learning Mandarin and that's how you pronounce it, but my girlfriend and Cynthia like to say Toisaan. In our Canto-book, it's called Taaisaan (but I don't think this is the right way to say it, just the Mandarin phonetic-translation). In any case, just stick with Taishan or Toisaan and you'll be okay. Taishan is a dialect of Cantonese but as most of you know that means completely nothing and it's really hard to understand any dialect of Chinese if you don't hear/speak it personally. That being said, I had a really easy time with the tones because it was like a combination of Mandarin and Vietnamese. My girlfriend, who insisted that Taishan had no tones and that she never used them (she does, only very slightly and naturally so that even she doesn't know), ended up struggling very hard with Cantonese. I was pretty hard on her (like I usually am, for some reason I cannot figure out but feel guilty about all the time). After a while she sort of got it, at which I was so unbelievably impressed because I had just about given up hope but we were all too busy cramming to care at that point. It was such a time-consuming process that we procrastinated on (because I never wanted to learn it by myself because then she'd be left behind, and she would never want to learn anymore despite making me take it with her in the first place because she had such a hard time with it). In the end, learning very little actual Cantonese and a lot of useless phrases and particles like "a," "la," "laak," "leh," and "daak," we decided we would never try to learn Cantonese again unless it was in a classroom setting.
At UCSD, we learned from a book and audio tapes. Suffice to say this is perhaps the worst way to learn Cantonese because, to me, the concept of the self-motivating student inspires an image of two very large stones. Doing nothing. And that is the self-motivating student. Except, unfortunately for us, we had a person who would test us on the chapters we were assigned. We had two tests, and for the first we crammed about 8 lessons into six days. Those 8 lessons were supposedly spread out over five weeks. We had gotten very little sleep.
On top of that terrible "2 unit" class, I also had DOC 3 which, unlike DOC 2, but similar to DOC 1, was what remains after a star has gone nova. Even more so because my lecturer for that class, due to the overwhelming number of class conflicts I had to schedule around because I initially signed up for 7, was one which assigned more reading than the other lectures (there were 2 others). Though I liked DOC 3 the most, it was a lot of work and a lot of the readings were useless.
DOC 1 was a lot of reading about discrimination, stereotypes, and how it all came about in America. This isn't just about slavery and oppression of blacks. This is about ethnic minorities and how race was defined socially, who or who "wasn't" white, what it meant to be white, and how it affected society. It's more like background information. It isn't ever used directly by any of the other DOC classes; you just had to know it. DOC 2 is all about Supreme Court cases related to civil rights. It was very interesting because most of it was philosophical since the law has to be interpreted sometimes. DOC 3 is about culture. It talks about how culture is created and influenced by people who are in turn influenced by culture. You look at things like music, poems, stories, and movies to find where culture influenced them. It's like breaking down a puzzle and trying to figure out which part does what for the puzzle.
It's much more interesting than I can describe it, but only if you can keep an open mind and are willing to try new things. The readings are terrible to go through. They told me they cut down a lot of it, but it still feels like a lot is repeated/useless information. They expect you to read and interpret a lot of it on your own, but people like me (and not like my girlfriend) suck at it.
I'm going to start writing about my next year. I'll post this for now.
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